Eulogy to Mum How do you sum up 70+ years of living, loving, bingo-ing and bargain hunting in a few minutes? Well I’m going to try, but please bear in mind, that to truly capture the life, the energy and love of our Mum would take a life time. First of all on behalf of the Oglesby family and Bernard, I’d like to thank you all for coming today, and for sharing with us not only our sense of overwhelming loss, but also many of the wonderful and lovely memories we all have of our Mum - a Mum whose spirit and heart were truly larger than life. I’m going to start with what I know to be the most obvious thing about Mum, and that was her love for us, her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Throughout her life, Mum endured a level of hardship that is incomprehensible to us today, dealing on a daily basis with difficulties that would knock us sideways should we find ourselves in the same position. Despite this, and her constant battles with poor health, Mum was always there for us, providing for us, loving us and fighting for us. Later, when we became parents, she extended that fierce love to her grandchildren and then to her great grandchildren. It would be impossible to talk about Mum’s love without mentioning someone, a very lovely someone. Bernard, we’d just like to say, thank you for loving our Mum and please remember you have three daughters, one son and a numerous grandchildren and great-grandchildren who want you to stay in their lives! Please say you will. I think one of the greatest gifts you can give a child is a belief in themself, and our Mum gave this to us over and over again. She refused to see our mistakes as anything other than ‘just growing up’ always defending us when we faced criticism. She was the ONLY person allowed to pass comment on our misdemeanours and forgive me if I say this but ‘God help anyone’ who didn’t recognise this. Those who dared to break this rule were given the benefit of Mum’s colourful and expressive vocabulary. Mum took great joy in our achievements, the big ones and the little ones, and made sure they were widely advertised on the Markets she loved, amongst friends, the rest of the family and more recently, at the Day Centre. Whenever anyone called round whilst we were visiting Mum, she always introduced us as ‘this is the son/daughter I was telling you about’ and would then smile proudly at us, before going on to then say how wonderful ALL her children were. To her grandchildren and great grandchildren, Mum was a play mate in their early years and a confidante as they grew and struggled to understand their ‘totally unreasonable parents’. All of us have watched in amazement as our hard working, ‘ready to take on the world’ Mum was able to suddenly put aside her own difficulties, and get into the minds, the hearts and the world of our toddlers. All of us have been able to breathe a sigh of relief, when Mum has managed to teach one of our teenage children how to handle us. One of the things that never ceased to amaze all of us was Mum’s amazing insight. Often we, her children and her grandchildren, would assume that Mum wouldn’t understand our ‘every day, modern problems’ because after all as Mum would frequently remind us ‘things were different in her day’. All too often we were proved wrong! All of us could give many examples of visits or phone calls where we would tell Mum about something really difficult and painful going on in our lives. Mum would listen patiently as we talked about a problem SO COMPLEX that no one else could possibly ever understand, sometimes interrupting to ask the questions we didn’t want asked or going back over a point that we were so sure wasn’t the real issue. Then she’d come out with something, often just a few words, that somehow managed to capture not only how we felt, but also what the real problem was and how it could be solved. I have to add, we didn’t always like being told what or who the real problem was, or the solution, but she was always right! For many people, supporting and loving an ever expanding family, living with poor health, and working long hours, (or as in later years, being housebound and in constant pain), would be enough for anyone to deal with. Despite this, Mum always had more to give. Always finding the energy to listen to people, to share her insight (often expressed in a lively and colourful way) and to just give a hand when it was needed. Before I close, I have to mention Mum’s other great loves, her pets Bluey, Brandy and Lucky. These three individuals, all from animal rescue centres, won Mum’s heart, became her closest companions and gave her back so much love. Mum, you gave us, your children, your grandchildren and great grandchildren, so much love, shared your strength with us, made it possible for us to create the lives we wanted to live and touched so many people’s lives with your care. We will always miss you. We will always remember you We will always love you. We will always celebrate you. Thank you for the gift of ‘YOU’